Smell the Flower, Blow the Candle Breathing Technique

Because mindful breathing techniques are such an important tool in a child’s emotional management toolkit, I wanted to share with you this very popular and practical activity you can use with your little one to explain the concept of deep breathing. 

Have the child smell the flower (deep inhale, hold for 3 seconds) and then blow the candle (exhaling through the mouth). Once they understand the concept you can simply use imaginary flowers and candles. 

Deep breathing helps a child to slow down and begin to respond to emotional outbursts in a more positive manner. We started doing this with my daughter from a very young age and it became one of her main go-to strategies for when she gets frustrated or upset. 

When big feelings arise remember to:

Connect: get down to the child’s level, make eye-contact and gently touch her (if she is open to it at that moment).

Validate: “I see you feel really upset right now because ___ and ___ happened.”

Breathe Together: “Let’s breathe together”. Gently guide the child through it if they need. After a few deep breaths everything seems to get lighter. 

Comforting Hug: I also always offer a hug because it seems to have the magical effect of dissolving any remnants of unpleasant feelings in the body.