Observation is a key component of the Montessori method. In fact, the entire method was built on observation. Italian physician, educator and pioneer Maria Montessori observed children like a scientist, recording her observations, adjusting the children’s environment continuously and eventually becoming inspired by her observations to adapt and create educational materials, which she continued to refine through a process of trial and error.
As parents, a Montessori-inspired observation practice at home can be a powerful tool, especially in the early years. Not only can it help us gain insight into our children’s needs, capabilities, interests and overall developmental progress, it is also particularly useful in helping us determine how to set up our home environment to ensure it meets their individual needs and interests. Observation is vital to our ability to follow and more effectively connect with and support our children.
Though starting an observation practice may seem a little intimidating for us parents, it can be as simple as setting aside 10-15 minutes every few days to sit back quietly and observe our children. Observation may sometimes happen outside of these planned time slots so you can also simply make a mental note to examine a certain aspect or behavior when it comes up next. You may actually grow to enjoy this practice! It’s helpful to write down your observations so you can revisit later.
Maria Montessori stressed the importance of:
This means detaching from our emotions and expectations, and observing factually. Accepting and meeting the child where she is at, with love and without judgement or preconceived ideas. It helps you to stay focused on the child in front of you, rather than who you want them to be, or focusing on some idea of how you think they “should” be developing or behaving. If you free your mind of preconceived ideas, you can actually get to know your child more deeply. Granted, this is not easy to do in a society obsessed with milestones and social media comparison.
What does observing objectively look like?
Objective statements look like: “Tom selected the animal puzzle four times.” Notice I wrote down an objective fact – the number of times he selected a particular material – rather than using subjective statements such as “Tom likes animals” or “Tom likes puzzles”.
A few questions you can keep in mind for your observation practice:
Can you see now, in the context of these questions, how objective statements will help you get a better read on where your child is at?
While observation in the context of a Montessori classroom often involves noting down acquired skills, interests and observed needs, at home you can extend this practice to observing a variety of other topics that can better inform your parenting tools and strategies.
Learning about things like your child’s specific learning style, sensory needs, love language, dominant nervous system response, among other things, can help you to become a more attuned and responsive parent.
The second important aspect of a Montessori-inspired observation practice is our ability to observe without interfering. This may seem so straightforward but to many parents it’s actually not! So often we feel the need to “help”, “fix”, “clean”, “praise” or otherwise interfere. We think we are helping but sometimes we are actually hindering the child’s ability to act on their own; to take initiative; and to show us what they are capable of doing; what impulses they have; what ideas they come up with. All of which is actually gold for our observation practice!
So give your child the space to just be in the environment and give yourself the time to sit back and observe what happens.
This practice of not interfering will also help you to nurture and protect your child’s ability to concentrate, which Maria Montessori identified as an essential of the child’s development, a precursor to learning and a tool for life-long success. It is this ability to concentrate that brings about “normalization”, the term used to describe young children’s ability to focus and concentrate for sustained periods of time while deriving self-satisfaction from their work.
After observing, go back to your notes and reflect on your observations. You can do this in the evening or opt for an end-of-the week assessment. However works for you. Consider how you can best support your child based on what you observed:
These are some of the questions you can get answers for.
Looking back on your notes also provides you with an opportunity for self-reflection. What thoughts/ emotions come up *for you* when you try to observe? Which thoughts create anxiety? And why? These are all things you can reflect on.
Thoughts and emotions such as “Is he struggling with this? Is she late to that particular milestone?”, are absolutely normal for us as parents. Just like you acknowledge and try to validate your child’s emotions, do the same for yourself. Observe, acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, dig deeper where you need to and let them go, not attaching to them.
If we are able to see past our emotions, expectations and preconceived ideas – which as parents is much harder to disentangle from – we are one step closer to accepting and meeting the child where she is at.
I hope you start by practicing for a few minutes and grow to enjoy this valuable practice as a parent. Like any skill the more you practice the better you will be at it.
And remember to trust your child. Trust in the beautiful wonder that is the unique cosmic being in front of you.
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